Aaron's Fortune-Telling Program: Your Future
After careful deliberation by our panel of experts, we believe that the following is an accurate prediction of your future:Your future appears sunny and bright. Unfortunately, you will become very susceptible to sunburn. Although you will be happy, you will perpetually be waiting in dermatologists' offices, seeking a cure; this search will ultimately be fruitful, when you discover a treatment for manic-depressives that has a side-effect: reducing sunburn. However, the medicine also will sap you of all emotion, and you are unable to enjoy life (or not to enjoy life). After forgetting to take it one day, you realize that with the medicine your life is pointless, and you get rid of it and buy stock in Bayer. You will fall in love with your stockbroker, but he or she already has a love interest, and you will give up on him or her, depressed, wishing you hadn't thrown away your manic-depressive medicine. Your family becomes a source of support although you will eventually become irritated by their habit of carrying parasols around you. They will eventually fix you up with someone, and for ten years you will avoid confronting the obvious fact that this person is your long-lost half-brother or sister.
Remember: the future is changeable, and your knowledge of your future may lead to your avoiding the events that make it happen. Thus, we cannot guarantee results. (In fact, if you load this page again, you will most likely get a different fortune, due to this effect.) However, we are proud of our life forecasting service, and we stand behind our work.